Walls are built to protect and defend...  against what?

What Walls Have You Built?


We build walls…not so much to keep people out, well, not really. So we’re told.

I recall about 10 years ago when my daughter was 10, she turned to me with great wisdom in her childlike innocence and asked:

“Daddy, why do all the advertisements talk about sex but we’re not supposed to?”

A cultural wall, an inconsistency…. I just love my daughter… she notices the things that just don’t make sense.

Walls are built to protect and defend, against what?

The lyrics to the words “Mother” by Pink Floyd speak abrasivly about the socialization process that takes place in most ‘normal’ families. It’s normal, really.

Back in the days before ‘technology’ as we know it children we were warned not to wander too far into the forest, lest dangerous animals might attach or eat us. Then in many cultures the males, were taught to hunt and kill these animals for food and protection of the village, the community, their families.

So think about that for a moment: pre-adolescent boys were taught to harness their fear, courage and I’ll add: their hunt, their cunning, perhaps their rage, anger, and undoubtedly their ability to kill, in some cases to kill or be killed.

Now our human hardwiring has not changed very much at all in the last, what 300 years. How do you think the hormonal driven aggressive urges or pre adolescent and older boys are channeled? Are they owned? Are they denied?

What about their sexual impulses? What have their families, their schools and communities told them and showed them? what are the messages they hear from our culture at large. and what about the girls?

Let us all as parents be VERY conscious of our own beliefs and values and just exactly what we are passing down to our young…

My values: be honest, be real, learn, laugh, love, repeat.

Here are the words to “Mother” from Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”.

Mother (Waters) 5:32

Mother do you think they’ll drop the bomb?
Mother do you think they’ll like this song?
Mother do you think they’ll try to break my balls?
Mother should I build the wall?
Mother should I run for president?
Mother should I trust the government?
Mother will they put me in the firing line?
Mother am I really dying?

Hush now baby, baby, dont you cry.
Mother’s gonna make all your nightmares come true.
Mother’s gonna put all her fears into you.
Mother’s gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She wont let you fly, but she might let you sing.
Mama will keep baby cozy and warm.
Ooooh baby ooooh baby oooooh baby,
Of course mama’ll help to build the wall.

Mother do you think she’s good enough — to me?
Mother do you think she’s dangerous — to me?
Mother will she tear your little boy apart?
Mother will she break my heart?

Hush now baby, baby dont you cry.
Mama’s gonna check out all your girlfriends for you.
Mama wont let anyone dirty get through.
Mama’s gonna wait up until you get in.
Mama will always find out where you’ve been.
Mama’s gonna keep baby healthy and clean.
Ooooh baby oooh baby oooh baby,
You’ll always be baby to me.

Mother, did it need to be so high?


I read and responded to this question on linked in**.(See Link and endnote friends). Perhaps at face surface, it seems like an innocent enough question…

But would you ask this question: “Is 13 years old too early to learn about shamanism?” No, because… it is an ‘acceptable’ topic and is WAY clear of that taboo topic most folks like to tip-toe around… you know the word when spoken in many gatherings will bring a blush, a giggle, a look away…

it’s SEX!!! Ha… you knew that already didn’t you.

You see, we wouldn’t ask… “Is 13 years old too early to learn about baking bread?”… but… when it comes to sex… well… reproduction? Check, that one’s ok. Organ functions, check, ok. Gender orientation… Oh no… why? Because of the parents own stuff, their own shadow.

There could be a myriad of topics of what to teach our children about sex and sexuality… BDSM, Gender Orientation, Roles…..Sex, Sexuality and Sexual expression etc… but of course, that would mean that the teachers (Mom, Dad, others) would need to answer many questions themselves, questions in most families that were taboo, or more aptly stated: Better left unsaid.

But not in our world… because in our world we DO talk about these things… we live them, embrace them in ourselves… again… Hoo Rah BDSM community… I celebrate our comfort with self and open communication.

So, “Is 13 years old too early to learn about….. ___________!” Really, you fill in the blank. Feeling some discomfort? Then peak behind you and introduce yourself to one of your own shadows… or simply ignore it and pass it on to those you love… you get to decide today.

**If you’re here now, your’e hear for a reason. So I’ll share some of my real identity- as part of a group of experts regarding Human Sexuality, among other things.

Jack Rinella is one of my favorite BDSM/Leather writers.  here is a link to his article: Creating Relationships.

It is valuable criteria that all couples can use… what fantastic first steps!


Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!

Visit our friends!

A few highly recommended friends...