One of the ways I meet new people and potential playmates, dates and more, is to cruise the list of attendee’s and potential attendees first or the groups of interest I belong to. Then, when I find a person or three of interest, I seek them out, introduce myself, and well, and then we’re past the screening.  It’s really much the same as the “sales funnel” concept.  You start with a larger number of people, and as your ‘hot prospects’ get hotter, they move from the top of the funnel to the bottom.

            So on a particular evening I may browse 50 names…that’s different that 50 profiles… I start with those I’m looking for! Subs, slaves, attractive playmates, potential friends. 50 possibilities just turned into 15…that was fast.

So I’ve picked 15 candidates, I read their profiles, maybe some of their writings.  I screen based on preference.  15 have just turned into 7 possible candidates. Normally I read all (or much) of these 7’s profile, browsed their pictures, their writings and have ‘screened’ them through their presentation of self via their writing, through the particular lenses of my preferences. When I see words for me that are red flags: switch, brat, seeking man under 30, man of color, etc…

**Really, why move forward at all if one doesn’t even meet the most basic of criteria!  Opt out, move on!!!!  Really, the ground work beforehand will save you much embarrassment.**


            More often than not I write the person before a meeting. I include a greeting, my general sentiments of interest and then What Specifically about them or their writing appealed to me…and why!  Too often I hear of folks greeting others with:

            “Hey, I saw your profile, you are hot, and would you like to chat?”

Or lacking even more sentiment:

            “slave I demand you write Me and submit”…

Right… If I had a dollar for the number of complaints I hear about such greetings…..


            I’ve done my homework, reviewed folks. I’ve sent the ‘mail’. Sometimes, I get a response. In the last 7 I sent, I got 3 responses. Average for me. Two people are a bit distant, one is local. More screening.  The 50 original candidates are now down to 3.

            Reading responses, gathering information. One person agrees to send pictures and disappears from existence.  (That leaves 2 candidates) One person continues to write, we are still getting to know each other. The local person, a slave seeking a Master writes a mish-mosh of things back that are a bit hazy. I’ll share a bit of that below. To stay in the flow, there is now only 1 candidate left, 3 hours away.  I’m hoping conversation will continue and open to the possibility they will not.

            So, with 1 candidate, and my enjoyment of cruising and connecting, I’m sure I’ll be on for another round of meeting play partners, lovers and friends! In other words: screen, screen, screen…repeat.

Continued screening:

            Email conversations/phone conversations: another vital aspect of screening.

Slave candidate picks 2 points from my profile and suggests because they are my preferences we are not a good match.

Ok… I have been known to be a bit of a social autistic, and I do allow for a “what the fuck are ya stupid” trigger. Her response elicited both…how fun. She also adds this, now keep in mind, this is a slave writing:


You’re very forthright in your approach and appear interested in individuals seeking a trainer or those desiring some form of instruction, which is in opposition to what I desire

Now this comment hit my “are you fucking serious” trigger.

Do you know any slave that does not desire instruction? To be trained in their Master’s desires?

So, I asked her: are you serious?

her response:

While my demeanor is restrained and noticeably polite, I believe it is fairly clear that I’m seeking something altogether different than what you’re offering at present. I wish you much success in your pursuits. Have a pleasant day.

My response:

restrained and polite may be fairly clear for many… as a linguistic savant, fairly clear is always a bit hazy 😉

Totally clear always works, thank you…

I too wish you success in your pursuits.

This is an example of 2 flags, the first- “restrained and polite”… to me, this means beating around the bush, being vague, not taking responsibility for your position and hoping the other person gets your message ‘nicely”. Nice is nice, polite is polite, honest is honest, and honest with respect is clear, not hazy.

Another communication issue helping to halt the search process nice and early.

Potential sub/slave: Maybe I could visit Chicago for a couple of days before I depart, Sir?

Me: You say: “Maybe I could visit Chicago for a couple of days before I depart, Sir?”

Maybe you could. I say: Yes, make your plans; I want you to visit Chicago for a couple of days before you depart. give Me a few date/range options for your travel and stay.

prior to that we will correspond a bit more via email, then talk.

I ended with giving him some basic directions.

Potential sub/slave: Maybe I could Many thanks for your response, Sir.

I was thinking of a weekend later in …(deleted for identity protection) I shall check rates for a couple of feasible weekends and get back to you, Sir.

I appreciate your direct manner, Sir. Very much and I look forward to getting to know you better.

We corresponded some, then he dropped out of site. Then he wrote with some variation about wanting to try to come, I challenged him:

ME: slave boy….Notice the difference in your two sentences:


“I shall check rates for a couple of feasible weekends and get back to you, Sir.”


“I’m still trying to see if time/money will permit me to visit Chicago later in January.”

The first is definitive… the second is wavering…

So… I imagine: you checked rates… you either can or can’t afford it, let’s not kid each other. Time/dates- how much time do you really need to fly here?

Sir Jim

Potential sub/slave  This is a big turn off. Best of luck to you, Sir.


This slave is turned off by being confronted on his wavering verbiage and backed off.  VERY GOOD!!! 

            So you see, ruling people out, or them ruling you out, really does help you to get closer to what you are truly seeking… and that’s what you really want!

Leave a Reply

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.

Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!

Visit our friends!

A few highly recommended friends...