Most of us have hobbies… among us kinky folks one of them is likely related to BDSM… Some people collect stamps, others knit or bead, some garden, while some of us collect “toys” or shoes, or weapons. To each their own, so to speak. My Recent Hobbies: Canes and Irish Martial Arts-specifically Bartitusu.

NOTE: if you want to skip the story and jump right into how to engage your passion, click here: “ENGAGE!”

For years I have enjoyed several ‘hobbies’ that have become part of a lifestyle. Eastern philosophy and healing; healthy eating/living; macrobiotics, body building, martial arts, etc… yes, bdsm and related items included. My most recent fascination is with a weapon called “The Shillelagh”, a 20 or so inch wooden club. From shillelagh I found blackthorn canes, then canes, then canes as weapons… then:

Bartitsu: The Lost Martial Art of Sherlock Holmes

Now it becomes even more fun… compounded and multiplied kind of fun because you see… I LOVE SHERLOCK HOLMES!!!! Why? Well, cuz I like myself so darn much! Sherlock: an insanely curious, eccentric, expert whose hobbies and interests directly coincide with his expertise of “detecting” in the world. My favorite Sherlock actor is Basil Rathbone; I’ve seen all his movies and of course, have the collected works of Arthur Conan Doyle.

Totally F******* Fun!

When I said I had Martial Arts interests, well, throughout my adult life I have trained well in: Tae Kwon Do, Shaolin Kung Fu, Full Contact Fighting (MMA), Hapkido, and Brazilian Ju Jitsu: Weapons: Pugal (USMC), nun-chuck (TKD) and Kali (Stick fighting).

So I find: Bartitsu: The Lost Martial Art of Sherlock Holmes
Required Equipment: A sturdy crook-handled walking stick or 36 inch dowel with any edges smoothed away; fencing mask or similar face/head protection. (Or…a caneJ)

In the year 1899, Edward William Barton-Wright founded Bartitsu as a process of cross-training between walking stick fighting, boxing, savate and jiujitsu. It was the first example of an eclectic self-defense system blending Asian and European combat styles, intended to beat hooligans and street gangsters at their own game.http://www.bartitsu.org/

Ok, I’ll say it again… HOW F*********** FUN!!!

There are particular elements of Living Passionately… you can engage yours…well, if you want to!

Wishing you all a great day! unless you have other plans..

Barititsu in Action vis-a-vis: the newest Sherlock Holmes movie!

How do you begin your power exchange relationships? Do you jump in, naming your title or identity? Most people talk about their ‘scene’ limits, but we involved in the lifestyle know well: many power exchange relationships are of the 24/7 type.

As with most things, beginning with the end in mind—knowing what You want first is where to begin. However, most new folks are not aware of the depth, breadth and multi-dimensionality of the world of power exchange. We each arrive to the world of kink or BDSM with our own pre-conceived notions, fantasies and levels of informed education. I have found that most folks have lots of questions.

As I begin to introduce a submissive to the world of kink, my first priority is to help her to be clear with what she wants… So I start with an email on morning 1 of our first meeting.
NOTE: we have already talked 3 times at length via the phone. We have exchanged emails and have begun to develop a ‘equal’ relationship thus far: no subs, no Masters… two human beings. Then the day of the agreed upon submission begins, the first email.

Good Morning ______(new sub student)

Welcome to the world of submission; I look forward to helping you to find just where this fits in your life…and to your submission to Me during the process.

The notion of ‘submitting’ carries with it many connotations; as with most words we each have our own subjective experience. For each person, their particular ‘submission’ varies in degree, context, content, depth and breadth. The world is your oyster, you get to pick exactly what feels right to you… and then change it as you continue your life journey!

By being a submissive there are a myriad of area’s to submit, here are a few examples:

• Sexually: no limits? Certain limits? Total access? Restricted access? Sharing with others?
• Physically: dress, diet, exercise, nails/make-up hair, etc…
• Financially: partial? Current earnings? Investments: Home/car etc…?
• Emotionally: total transparency or no unrequested displays of emotion?
• Time: total? Free time on certain days? All free time? The very definition of free time?
• Friends/Family interaction: agreed upon? Limited? Up to Him?

These are things that normally overlooked or “pre-supposed” by both parties when entering into a power exchange relationship… We don’t do that in Jim’s world  We become clear on what we want as individuals THEN seek out what we want with an Other (or O/others!).

I have included links to two writings. I would like you to read these today before you drive out…we will be talking some about what it means for you to be “submissive”.

1. What Exactly is a Submissive
2. A Slave is not a Submissive

I am looking forward to our first meeting,

___________location and time_________

your Sir …for today,

JimFollowing the first email, I send her one more:

Hello submissive,

There is one more thing I want you to do:

Take this short quiz and forward Me the results before 1pm:

BDSM Inclination Quiz
write Me via email with any questions you have,

Enjoying your submission already,

Sir Jim
As I said, we have talked a few times; I am a Master so I do hear lots and do believe she is submissive… and there is so much more to learn. So patience…

Please notice the nuances in the second email:

I’ve started addressing her a submissive: removing one’s identity via name as powerful implications
I am introducing kink and sex as under My control.
I’m gathering information: the test results will help Me to teach her
I express appreciation for her submission, sub’s love to please.
I am now “Sir Jim”… as she is My submissive.

Day 1-Lesson 1: I invite your thoughts and practical applications!

Popular definitions of co-dependency would have us believing that it is something that is specific to alcoholism or addiction; that it is some ‘by-product’ of a diseased person or family. It is not. Co-dependency is an inbred part of what we in our Western culture have come to describe as normal…

The rock band Dire Straits sings about our Industrial Disease; (listen below) Pink Floyd has an entire album about how we, as children, are taught to build walls to protect ourselves… instead of being ourselves. (see previous blog post: What Walls Have You Built) And it’s not just the rock bands that are talking about it.

1. Do you have difficulty saying no?
2. Do you make silently hope or make subtle efforts to help your loved ones to change?
3. Are you subject to critical voices in your head at least daily?

If you answered yes to any one of these questions, then yes, you grew up in America and have taken on some of this social disease. I’m sorry AND there is help. Here, right now you can shed some of that old baggage. You can learn to take it easy on yourself and on those you love.

You, me, all of us were raised to practice co-dependency and that there are ways to be more authentic and loving, if you desire that sort of thing. Whether we are kinky or vanilla, straight, gay, pansexual, hypersexual or anti-sexual… we were raised in the soup of co-dependency in porportion to the level and depth of chauvistic thinking that our families, communities and schools covertly and unknowingly support and supported.

And because WE DO KNOW THIS… it is up to each of us to change it.

Read the article: Co-Dependency – Our Social Disease and learn about the subtle ways unhealthy forms of co-dependency have seeped into your life… then you can change it… a little at a time.

 

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