Do or Don’t Do…There is no try

How long has it been…or how many times have you promised yourself: “This year, I’m going to really express sexual self!”  And then maybe went on line, did some searching.  Maybe you visited a local club, went to a workshop, perhaps even met and talked with some people. If you are coupled already, then maybe you and your spouse got out some books, watched a video, experimented once or twice…and then…well, normal life ‘took over’.

Do or don’t do, there is no try!

How often do you here someone say how they will TRY to do something?

“I’ll try to get together with you.” “I’ll try to get more work done.” “I’ll try to do better.”

The time is now.  You have waited long enough!  Let me help you and make it simple.

1.  Know what you want

2.  Create a plan to do it.

3.  Do it.

4.  Notice what you like and what you don’t.

5.  Repeat until you just can’t help but smile 🙂

Especially now at the beginning of the new year when So Many People “resolve” to make some major change in their life. Something big… a new job, relationship, or residence.  Or something smaller… losing weight, working more, working less, spending more time with loved ones. It might be time management, reducing stress, a commitment to health, to savings and investments, or to your spiritual life.

Do or don’t do, there is no try.

Let’s revisit my simple list of 5 in more detail.

1.  Know what you want

How do you ‘know’ what you want?  Follow your desire, your curiosity, your passion, your lust.  What looks sounds and feels good? What draws you? What repels you, yet still turns you on?

There are several resources you can use to connect more with what turns you on.

*Play Partner Check List

*FetLife – A BDSM website for kinksters by kinksters

*The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin, Ph.D.

*Contact Me, I’m happy to help

2.              Create a plan to do it.

Creating a plan can be easy for some, next to mission impossible for others. Simple or difficult, in order to get to your outcome or destination, you need a way to get there.  This will vary tremendously depending on what you want.

The most general advice I will offer here is to go out and explore! Learn for yourself!  Go to the web; find local venues for meetings and educational events. Buy a book or three on your subjects of interest. I’ll include below a link to a couple of “kinky’ sites, as well as a link to my blog for those wanting to meet others in the BDSM lifestyle.

*Meeting New People-Screening Candidates to Find Who You Want!


*Polyamory-Love Without Limits

In the Kalama Sutta Buddha says, “Do not accept anything because it comes from the mouth of a respected person. Rather, observe closely and if it is to the benefit of all, accept and abide by it.”

Check it out, find what you are seeking.  I’m here if you need some help, just write:

3.  Do it.  (That means taking action and doing whatever it is you have been planning!)

4.   Notice what you like and what you don’t.

Be Honest with yourself!  If you like it, great!  If not, say so!  You never have to do anything sexually that you do not want to!  This is the place where you get to really play, let your desires be known, your likes, dislikes, and party on!


5. Repeat until you just can’t help but smile 🙂


This blog was inspired by Joseph Campbell, who inspired George Lucas to create Star Wars… who created Yoda


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