How do you begin your power exchange relationships? Do you jump in, naming your title or identity? Most people talk about their ‘scene’ limits, but we involved in the lifestyle know well: many power exchange relationships are of the 24/7 type.

As with most things, beginning with the end in mind—knowing what You want first is where to begin. However, most new folks are not aware of the depth, breadth and multi-dimensionality of the world of power exchange. We each arrive to the world of kink or BDSM with our own pre-conceived notions, fantasies and levels of informed education. I have found that most folks have lots of questions.

As I begin to introduce a submissive to the world of kink, my first priority is to help her to be clear with what she wants… So I start with an email on morning 1 of our first meeting.
NOTE: we have already talked 3 times at length via the phone. We have exchanged emails and have begun to develop a ‘equal’ relationship thus far: no subs, no Masters… two human beings. Then the day of the agreed upon submission begins, the first email.

Good Morning ______(new sub student)

Welcome to the world of submission; I look forward to helping you to find just where this fits in your life…and to your submission to Me during the process.

The notion of ‘submitting’ carries with it many connotations; as with most words we each have our own subjective experience. For each person, their particular ‘submission’ varies in degree, context, content, depth and breadth. The world is your oyster, you get to pick exactly what feels right to you… and then change it as you continue your life journey!

By being a submissive there are a myriad of area’s to submit, here are a few examples:

• Sexually: no limits? Certain limits? Total access? Restricted access? Sharing with others?
• Physically: dress, diet, exercise, nails/make-up hair, etc…
• Financially: partial? Current earnings? Investments: Home/car etc…?
• Emotionally: total transparency or no unrequested displays of emotion?
• Time: total? Free time on certain days? All free time? The very definition of free time?
• Friends/Family interaction: agreed upon? Limited? Up to Him?

These are things that normally overlooked or “pre-supposed” by both parties when entering into a power exchange relationship… We don’t do that in Jim’s world  We become clear on what we want as individuals THEN seek out what we want with an Other (or O/others!).

I have included links to two writings. I would like you to read these today before you drive out…we will be talking some about what it means for you to be “submissive”.

1. What Exactly is a Submissive
2. A Slave is not a Submissive

I am looking forward to our first meeting,

___________location and time_________

your Sir …for today,

JimFollowing the first email, I send her one more:

Hello submissive,

There is one more thing I want you to do:

Take this short quiz and forward Me the results before 1pm:

BDSM Inclination Quiz
write Me via email with any questions you have,

Enjoying your submission already,

Sir Jim
As I said, we have talked a few times; I am a Master so I do hear lots and do believe she is submissive… and there is so much more to learn. So patience…

Please notice the nuances in the second email:

I’ve started addressing her a submissive: removing one’s identity via name as powerful implications
I am introducing kink and sex as under My control.
I’m gathering information: the test results will help Me to teach her
I express appreciation for her submission, sub’s love to please.
I am now “Sir Jim”… as she is My submissive.

Day 1-Lesson 1: I invite your thoughts and practical applications!

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